a time for change
This blog has been dormant for too long! In July of 2009 and once again in April/May 2011, I made half-hearted atttempts to keep my writing going! When will I REALLY hang in there for the long haul, I wonder? Perhaps my first task could be to brainstorm what kind of blog topics would INSPIRE me to write more often? Could I remark on books that I have been reading lately or could I focus more on my hobbies of photography or craft-making? The item that inspired THIS post was a recent jounral entry. In my very recent past, I have decided to confront very real and life-threatening disordered eating patterns. This is no secret to some of you and, perhaps, a complete surprise to others. Nonetheless, it’s a sad matter. Only tonight, when I had a physical impulse to eat when I did not “need to eat” (some of you may have heard this circumstance, before, called “eating your feelings”) I DID NOT act out of my impulse to eat. Rather, I sat at my pen and paper and prayed that God would reveal to me, buried however deep down inside, what I WAS FEELING. LO and BEHOLD He did! I WAS FEELING SAD REJECTED AND DISSAPOINTED! I asked a guy that I like if he wanted to go with me to see the Tanglewood lights and he totally ingored my question…what’s worse is, I texted the question to him so I am not only feeling rejected but embarrassed, too. Now “HOW IN THE WORLD?” -you normal eaters might ask- did feelings of rejection sadness and dissapointment lead me to a desire to eat? Or how did “feelings” lead me to try-and-convince-myself that I was hungry!!?? Well, that’s just IT! – The patterns of addictions are INSANE! And now that I have COMPLETELY rabbit-trailed-off from my original topic (what to write about, consistently, on my blog) I will tell you that I am thinking that writing HONEST and true stories that may otherwise find themselves forever-hidden-and-self-promised-to-be-taken-to-my-grave for ANYONE to see! God will get the glory for my failures and successes in blogging fashion y’all 
PS. I might just go to see the lights anyway…or, if she still wants to hang out with me after my being rejected and all, Kathryn could come with me to see the lights!
