Shabby chic is no faux pa
That’s right, the title says it all. Actually, I’m not even sure what I am getting at with the title but when blogging I try and let my stream of conscious run wild. In this way, I do not feel obligate to edit before publishing. Congrats, you’re reading garbage!
find that old “shouldn’t” post
I do not own my own computer. When accessing the internet I use one of the three technologies: public library dell, iPhone or work PC. I used to write on a lil’ macbook but then I sold it so that I could pay one month’s rent back in 2010. Here’s my crazy Jewish family all enjoying our time playing with PhotoBooth on my old mac.
People say we seem “very Jewish.” and I am always positive that I do not know what they mean 
.
I promise you I will post some photos of what I’ve been doing in school. Right now, however, I am attempting to keep my head above water with school projects. In fact, after I publish this wee little bean of a post, I’m headed back for the dark room to do some enlarging and printing
Wow, I am loving all of these cool firework photos that I forgot existed.
Until I am back for another go at the blogging, keep it real everyone!
xoxo,
style in a fancy bargain bin
Still, I wonder where the title for my posts originate but I’m going with it. In the corners of my mind, the silly ideas float around and I just pluck them from that aquarium of brain and post them here. This morning I am watching “You’ve Got Mail” as I write emails and draft contracts, rough work and proposals. The movie, You’ve Got Mail, is my favorite of all the little movies in the world. I can quote, nearly the entire movie. It’s charming, so charming.
And, almost, I forgot that I took this photograph while visiting Boston in August this year. All of the photos that I took during my visit with the Ballhaussens are quietly perched in my “Picture” files and I’ve shared none with you. As if you’d have to ask — I can upload some and blog about them later. Who knows? You may even get a VLOG…… (more…)
positivity lately
“Positivity” may not be a word. Positivism. Positivism. Positivist. Those are words. It’s been said that I tend to dwell on the negative. As much as this may be true I do always find much positive in life and try to share that in conjunction with nay complaints I may express. So here are some of late: 1. I get to have rainbow sprinkles atop birthday waffles TOMORROW! 2. People tend to wave, smile and giggle, more, when they see me walking to work with Slayer…one lady even said “Oh, God bless you, bless you, bless you, blessings on you…” as I walked by her and her walking buddy yesterday. 
Above pictured is my birthday place mat awaiting it’s sprinkle-full waffle.
In other news, I am planning a FUN GAME for youth Sunday School, not this coming Sunday but, for next Sunday. After our camping trip to Hanging Rock State Park, which is going to be a blast, I’ve thought ahead enough to plan a super-awesome game as to not let down any youths’ fun high. The game is one version of “Two Lies and a Truth…” or is it “Two truths and a Lie?”…It doesn’t matter, I suppose, as I have nearly two weeks to plan execution.
My mornings have been spent in the quiet of the living room with back door open to eh beautiful breeze outside. Thank you, chilly NC April, for your pleasant company.
Thanks to my aunt, we are eating plenty of glamorous food, although this raw chicken pre-cooking does not look so tasty. Last night we began to watch “Babel” and made a unanimous choice to not, further, subject our evening to depressing footage from a movie who’s four sub-plots seemed to be headed in directions nowhere other than BAD. So we switched to this movie: Love’s Kitchen in the middle of the Babel scene where Kate Blanchett’s character is on the brink of bleeding to death.
No, that scene does not remind me of eating nor does the photo scene above wet my appetite all that much. Nonetheless, I thought I’d share the photos because I, quite, enjoyed the evening at home with Aunty Sharon and it did include the yummy asparagus and chicken featured in this post. To come, later I think, will be some movie reviews as I often end up watching random movies that I find interesting and think it’s be great to keep feedback from my criticism. If that’s not complicated {getting criticism of my criticism} then I do not know what is.
This was a breakfast of mine from this past January and it reminds me that, while my 50 gallons of free blueberries last season are all gone, blueberry picking is not far off! Bring on the blueberries, May. Just thinking of them makes me weak with excitment. Also, a “best of reel” from the office {my office} is soon to come so get excited!
Much love and happy Wednesday ~ Jasper Naomi
and then I said
Currently, my blog is undergoing a major overhaul. Now, you may not be able to see this but it is happening…
:: It is happening. Mostly, the change is all happening in my mind. I’ve tried to manually tweak the styling and format/layout of my blog but this only seems to make matters worse. It’s like I am trying to learn Martian a new language while I am living in the foreign country. The theme: I look like an idiot most of the time. Alas, blog world, I am here to stay {that is, at least for the long short-term, if that makes sense}
This morning in the shower, I thought to myself “And then I told her…And then she said…And then I said…And then she said” as I planned out telling my aunt a funny story. “Is that the most eloquent way to describe what happened, Jasper?” I had as an after thought. Believe me, there’s a point to this tangent. It’s as if, of late, I’ve been trying to create something spectacular and then only coming up with less-than or, at most, mediocre.
Either way, I am going to press on and try to be a bit more gentle with myself. Nobody’s perfect, right? And my blog will certainly never be perfect. It’s like if I played golf…which I don’t. Sometimes you need to work on feeling awkward with you swing, for a while, before it can adapt and change into a really powerful stroke. And you’ve got to keep on practicing before you see any significant strides in your playing. You have to sow willing hours so you can reap beneficial results.
Have you ever planned out one enormous idea in your head before you were able to make any sort of physical progress on it? Could it have anything to do with personality, or your personality, in particular?
Have your GINORMOUS plans come to fruition?
…perhaps they will, soon. Happy Tuesday to you!
how many shots does it take to make it JUST right?
eeeeeeh. when you know, you know 
this is for the sad little photographer who can never get that shots right….
never fear for, one, day, you’ll get the styling and lighting right!
just right!~
maybe 
how to finish what we’ve begun
One of my favorite things, lately, has been turning “draft posts” into published posts! For some reason I just LOVE to begin things and then NEVER finis
Okay, okay, my “finishing things once I’ve begun them” change is not going to happen over night but where better to begin than SMALL with my little finishing-blog-posts-by-editing-and-publishing-once-I’ve-begun’them ain’t a shabby place to begin!
Originally, I wanted to make them posts a sort-of-reader-of-my-0blog-working-encyclopedia-of-my-office but then I thought: “How boring” … So I have turned a collection of random coworkers into more of a little-things-in-life-tutorial.
Isn’t it crazy that February 2012 is, nearly, finished! My parents will arrive from Africa on March 6th and I have not seen them, in person, for over three years, now. It’s surprising to think about when I actually chat within and write to them and have more interaction with them than I do with other folks.
And the more I sort-of reminisce over how much I have learned, how challenging the year has been so far and how I’d like things to “look up,” I realize that 2012 is going to be a pretty swell year, after all, no matter what my life weathers.
Look at all these happy and smiling faces at my work…I mean it’s a nice place to work and all it just always gets me thinking….I am behind the camera so often and hear comments like “THAT BETTER BE A GOOD PICTURE”…but everyone covers their face when I try to snap a shot (how am I suppose to ensure “A GOOD PICTURE” when you are doing everything possible to make yourself look wretched…sorry folks, don’t send me hate mail )
But somewhere, deep inside everyone, is this desire to smile. To really smile. One day I will learn more and more of the endless depth to the human soul and spirit, I believe, through snapping photos and portraits.
For today, I’ll let others be the teachers while I am, still, very much, the student.
Sorry I have been MIA for a couple of days! Hopefully I’ll have some good posts coming up here soon! Happy Tuesday for now!!!!!!!!!! much love – Jasper
how what people say impacts us…
Yesterday, I realized that I allow what people say really impact my behavior. It’s sad, really. But what’s hopeful is that I am beginning to recognize my unhealthy tendencies and not let me behavior, like eating my feelings or shaming myself, carry me away with others’ comments as a lousy excuse.
So here’s the deal…for the last two week, or more, I’ve allowed this lady at my office to affect, more or less, the way I behave. This lady does not know me well and I have tried to be kind to her despite her aloof behavior and eye-rolling my way. Really, I am not sure that I ever did anything to both her besides leaving crumbs in the hall or water drips in the breakroom floor. Three weeks ago, today, she stopped me in the hall with what appeared this cheeky grin to say “You’ve put on a lot of weight.” As she examined my frame, up and down, up and down again, her nods were confirming…”Oh YEAH, you have put on a lot of weight.” Smiling, trying to appear cheerful and unaffected I relied “Thanks!” and skipped off to grab my bag and head for my after-work appointment.
Despite my hopeful success of not giving this woman any inclination that her comments had affected me – positively-negatively-or-WHATSOEVER- for that matter –I could care less about her at that point: I was CRUSHED. How is this hurting little girl in my soul going to cope with the women’s comment?
Despite-of (NOT in spite-of) people’s comments, this lady want to live a new way! So the workouts and meals after such a comment were closely monitored…that is, I had to make EXTRA sure that a healthy perspective was the voice that BEAT OUT the nasty haunting voice of others’ comments. The truth it, I HAVE gained weight but no matter what other’s think, I have to live life and be grateful or else I’ll have nothing to offer others down the road. And THAT’s what I really want…to offer something special to someone else and not remain so focused on ME and what others think of ME. Who CARES how much I weigh!!!??! I can only hope that one day, I really will not care how much I weigh if I know what’s, truly, good for my soul.
Yes, there is a time and place for making sure I feed my body the proper nutrition for it’s needs, not over indulging or depriving my cells of the fuel they require, but I am talking about releasing myself from the deadly grips of feeling that my weight is = to my worth.
More importantly, if there’s something I have said to contradict what I mean, then remember: I certainly do not “know it all.” Don’t listen to me, listen to Him! You’re beautiful.
Happy Wednesday to you all! Love, Jasper
a lesson on growing up
This morning I thought to myself “well I am just ready to quit!” … “Quit what?” I asked myself. “Well I don’t know! just QUIT something!” my self answered back in protest. “But you’ve only just begun.”
In my office cubicle, I’ve got this little line who’s growth progress I am trying to track.
Once, already now, I thought the little vine was going to give out and die on me…apparently two tablespoons instead of the 1/2 tsp. suggestion or Miracle Gro can be a threat to little plants’ life expectancy. The leaves turned yellow and fell out after one day of fertilizer shock!
Still though, the little vine did not die, it grew back little leaves to replace the others! At first, I was so discouraged and frustrated with my stupidity in try to force the vine to GROW. I push and push and push the vine to grow, some days nearly drowning it by overwatering it and dehydrating it on others while I attempt to figure out if too-much-watering is the vines’ problem.
As one might be able to understand from this smaller-than-life illustration, nature will take it’s course no matter how much or little I race about trying to figure out a way to change or manipulate the situation.
The same is true for my body and soul.
There she is, a sort of happy little tot with a big personality. And she was happy. It wasn’t that “life was not fair” to her or that she “lived a charmed one.” Life simply happened the way the creator intended. Silly as it may seem, I’d like to paraphrase from Charles Dickens’ David Copperfield. “My meaning simply is, that whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do well; that whatever I have devoted myself to, I have devoted myself to completely; that in great aims and in small, I have always been thoroughly in earnest.” (Dickens, Ch. 42) It’s not that my life reaches near or even to the slightest extent close to these words from Dickens, but I would very much like my life, one day, to near such a summary. One might argue that David Copperfield lived the most undesirably unfortunate existence and that, in doing so, his life was ill spent. Through Copperfield’s misfortune’s, he gained insight on the inherent futility of superficial beauty, simple, fluffy “love,” and worldly accomplishment. Although I want those things and each are not-at-all-bad in and of themselves, like Copperfield, I can know that life’s trials and fires are where STRENGTH is gained.
It may appear that I am even more broken than ever, today, but I can tell you that I have heard this: “Things have to get worse before they get better!” One more lesson I can gain from monitoring my little plant’s progress is this: life should not be filled with my fussing over whether “I am ok … [or whether] … I am fixed or not fixed,” rather life should be whether or not I am treating myself and others with gentleness, love, generosity and grace.
Here’s to a kind of growth in all of our lives that lead us into all truth and understanding! and i’ll post a less serious post soon
the crafty one
so I’m thinking of making these little psuedo-diy craft kits for the faint-of-heart-diy-ers…what’dya think?!
also… here’s a little scavenger hunt for ya…if you can even BEGIN to guess what I’ve been up to this week! … that is, in between writing papers…seriously…don’t EVEN ask …
Wednesday…
for real?! bacon?! answer: yes
not enough heme ?! big frowny five minutes from this photo when turned down by the red cross collectors 
…
that’s ok! cuz iron …
+ vitamin C …
= happy jasper donating blood to ARC very very soon!
craft time …
tea time …
bar making time …
looks gross i know! …
but they are yum yum tasty! …
just relaxin’ … shootin bbal up side a school …
happy friday! ~ mucho love-o – jasper
mmmkay
It’s the little things in life that make me smile. That make us smile.
Sometimes its the little, little things in life that make us smile!
So, I talk with patients on the phone every day at work. And they say some of the funniest things:
One day some guy was getting really annoyed with me and my questions and after I asked this older male pt the question: “In the last four weeks, how many days per week did you exercise, for at least twenty minutes at a time, outside of your daily activities?” …to which he replied: “Well I ain’t gunna go outside and turn flips or climb trees if that’s what you’re asking!”
The man was annoyed with all of my questions and fired off witty, cynical and cranky replies to every, which, one of my questions. And though the man was making me giggle, he was not having a good time at all. If I really thought about it, I might assume that the man had no real joy in his life if he were ready and able to be rude and impatient with a perfectly pleasant ( me ) stranger.
Two other patients last week sounded a little bit like Julia Child…which reminded me of one of my favorite movies, Julie and Julia, which includes a funny SNL clip of Dan Aykroyd playing Julia Child…the clip isn’t available on YoutTube but this one of Julia Child’s “Chafing Dish Dinner” is pretty cute…when Amy Adams’ character, Julia, and her husband watch the SNL skit making fun of Julia Child, it just cracks me up!
Anyway, this post has gone in all sorts of directions in two short paragraphs! Nonetheless, I think it is important to say that we can find little things every day that make us smile! People are all around and, not that, their smiles are the most important things but it can be said that the things that make us smile and, simply, the smiles we see are incredible gifts! And I am grateful, today, for the little things.
only nineteen
broken lens motor? bad lighting? no problem!
So the title for this post was supposed to be a spin-off of ABBA’s “Dancing Queen…only seventeen…” except Ciara is nineteen 
… And there ya have it!
christmas gift-making
This morning I shared some frustrations of mine with my good friend. Instead of her listening with reverent nods and smiles of justifying sighs, like my controlling behaviors would have imagined she’d please me with, she asked me objective questions that called me out on my selfishness. Within the hour, I felt deep gratitude for such honest friendship and accountability; however my gratefulness swam around in what is intense self-hatred. How can healthy reprimand for my bad attitude result in such painful feelings? In all this, I can see that the heavenly discipline (through God and my good little friend) did not CAUSE me pain, it’s the self-loathing and unhappiness deep-down on which a healthy attitude-check shed some light. So now what to do with the token of enlightenment? BREAK this cycle! It’s a gift, awakening slowly to the depravity of my condition. I will ask God to help me continue making amends with him for my sad choices and chose to do something kind to myself and the Spirit of life that lives inside of me today…there’s a world of possibility for this attitude of kindness and compassion right outside (and inside-of) my cubicle opening! Stay tuned for the outcome! And PLEASE leave some ideas in your comments below~ and have a wonderful day!
look-a here at some of the neato things we can do on picnik 
and here is some of the latest and greatest footage/still lifes of santa’s workshop this year! stay tuned! more to come! and thank you, Wendy for slaving over the computer in order to send me the photos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
unwrapped
What are some of YOUR favorite gifts?!?! A gift to unwrap today, for me, is all the blessings God gives me in THIS day!…a silly story shared with friends…a giggle in the office…a pleasantry exchanged with a stranger in the checkout lane…a fond memory. Thank you, Lord, for all the blessings in this day! 
for more photos or to upload some of your own, check out my photo stream here! And have a WONDERFUL day!!!
miracles of technology
ever “fixed” a photo in a software program and not even recognized your edited one for belonging to the original photo you shot!? that’s like this one for me … submit your photo if this has happened to you 
my lunch today
ok so I might have listened to one of my patients’ conversations after they thought they’d hung up the phone… …this couple was the CUTEST couple ever! Female respondent held her hand over the phone after I asked “…and what is your most recent weight, in lbs.?” while she told her husband to “Cover [his] ears,” and then quietly replied into the telephone “194 lbs…” So cute, I thought she was. Well, at the end of the interview, she thought she’d hung up the phone and then I heard her ask her husband “Did you hear me say what my weight was?… her husband replied “No. But it’s 145 lbs., right?” The lady laughed an adorably jolly laugh and said “I wish it were Tom, I wish it were, Tom…” One day I could have a jolly laugh with a hubby
Go ahead, share your silly hubby/S.O stories, please!
cartwheel
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand today is Monday.
Raise your hand if you’re HAPPY to be in your cubicle today!
Raise your hand if you’ve got the day off of work and are frolicking about a hillside full of wildflowers while reading your latest blogfeeds !
and raise your hand if a fond memory/warm holiday thought is the only hope keeping you sane in this moment!
This past Saturday I went to Walmart for canning jars (to package up some gifts for Christmas) and flipped a 180 out of that parking lot just as soon as I saw outrageously-large crowds! Who knew?! I thought I was the only on needing supplies at the Walmart…
now I’m going to have to get really honest about how this simple little illustration reflects, what I feel is, a much larger transformation taking place in my heart. This is a season in my life that I think (and HOPE AND PRAY) the the Lord is using as one for heart change! Little had I anticipated this season of heart change feeling SO painful! Ouchee!
on a much brighter note, my friend Wendy suggested I open a craft shop of my own…and instead of filling her apartment’s living room with scissors, rubberbands, styrofoam balls, paper clippings and craft-projects galore, I could fill up a craft shoppe with these such items.
question IS: if YOU could open ANY shoppe to fill up with your favorite things, what would the shoppe be?!!!!
when animals tickle
You’ll never believe these squirrels I met at this pretty park in Queens, NY. While at my cousin’s wedding festivities, we played ultimate frisbee and I met these two fat squirrels that wanted me to feed them, I think, at the frisbee park. So friendly, they were, and fat – these cute squirrels had me giggling over how close they got! Perhaps they were thinking my white gloves to be Wonderbread!
Someone told me that they’d gotten the Bubonic plague from a squirrel so I didn’t tease them for too long.
These squirrels were cute, but chipmunks seem to tickle me the most in the movies!
Here are some cute creature videos, some of you may know them well! Please post your favorite animal clips or write about your silly animal stories!
Even inanimate objects tickle my funny bone!
little secretary
So when I was a wee 9-yr old, my BIG DREAM was to be a secretary. Maybe I watched the movie Working Girl too much – I might add that no 9-yr-old should be allowed to watch, even the edited-for-television version of, Working Girl. Nonetheless, I’d set up my grandmother’s typewriter on our rickety, old, wooden piano bench and would break out the stapler and, occasionally, the adding machine, pen-cup and ruler (for good measure, of course ) – did anyone catch that ? Well NOW, that I just finished with my Facilities Management “Ergonomic Evaluation,” I realize that my childhood dreams have come true. Now all I do is run around trying to avoid the work I once idolized: a cubicle of my own and a copy machine to crouch over…yipppeeeeee?!
And I find friends at the office to whom I’ve come in to work dressing identically?! Freaky…: D…
mices
Roughly a year and two months ago, this week, I caught one and perhaps four more after that mouse in my car.
Did you know that search-engining the word “mice” produces some funny results? For instance I had heard, once-upon-a-time but, since, forgotten that the “proper English” word for mice is “mices.” The word is pronounced to sound like “Meeces.”
I wanted to find some images on the internet that would fit nicely into this post, however, the longer my car’s mouse problem carried on, I did not need find internet images.
Here’s the first mouse, Squirt. He is a baby mouse, the one I caught, first, thinking he was the INFAMOUS “Charlie.” After, nearly, two months of my hunt for “Charlie the mouse,” I thought the battle was over and won. I could breathe easy at last. Little did I know that I’d find an upwards of five mice dead/alive in the traps (mostly live) set in my car! 
So I cannot believe that I never published this post…meet “squirt” I’ll post more photos soon! In the mean time, have a lovely day! 
one of my favorite things
Today I want to share about a gift from God in my life and link up to the Tuesdays Unwrapped delight. With this Christmas season, especially for this one, life seems a whirlwind. 
But Christ promises me that I have the opportunity today and tomorrow and the next day and the next…to…slow…down. or today, I can slow down…and rest in His peace…even while the world whizzes on by (and all around).
God’s gift to me is a seat, cozy and restful, next to Him today.
What’s one of your gifts from Him today?
Please respond and attach one of your favorite photos or a photo you’ve taken! We’d LOVE to see! Much love to you today!
little kiddies
Last week, in the early morning I was driving past a familiar spot on this road where a school stop happens to be located. To my right, I noticed parents in cars, watching attentively to make sure their loved ones hopped on to the appropriate bus. Well out of nowhere this “CR#A*CK@!” sound came from my back door. “What in the WORLD was that noise?” I thought. It sounded as if I were driving next to a dumpster truck full of rocks and one tumbled onto my car. Looking in my rear view mirror I saw this little dude swinging his foot as hard as he could, continuing to kick and kick, as he managed to catapult speeding pebbles onto the sides of passing cars. His little backpacked clung half-heartedly to the little boy’s elbows as he flailed about. I was a bit annoyed with this kid but I couldn’t help but giggle at the mischief! Just to get you back on your good side about the cute little buggers, I’ll include an adorable photo from this summer that I took of a little girl at a 4th of July party.
please mind the timestamp
Amy and I had SO MUCH FUN yesterday! Who knew that we’d be spending our Saturday afternoon, Amy in her PJ’s and me in my Julia-Roberts-80′s-do, photo-shooting and sweet-concocting in her kitchen?! We did not plan for it, at least!I called Amy to ask if she would help me spend the afternoon baking three or four different cookies/bars/sweets for this cookie/recipe exchange I was planning to attend Saturday evening. She blessed me with her YES answer to my question. So I made my stop at the grocers before arriving at Amy’s home. Check out this silly little list that I managed to check off at the grocery shoppe (for which most items I had coupons! – that got DOUBLE coupon credit!)
- white sugar
- blackstrap molasses
- sugar cookie dough
- organic vanilla milk
- omega three lactose free milk
- chocolate chip cookie dough
- sweetened dried coconut
- honey-nut cheerios x 2
- bisquick
now, if THAT’S not one of the weirdest little grocery lists you’ve ever seen, than i’ll tell you it’s one of the weirdest I’ve seen!
with a little help from Amy and some margarine here, some oil there, an egg here, some spray-oil there, some salt here and some peanut butter, peanuts and old-fashioned oats there we were able to come up with these crazy creations:
1. brittle crunch bars (these were not the taste-winners of the four but they sure were fun to make!)
2. pizzookie (the name says it all – pizza? cookie? what could be better?! this one tasted quite gooey and sweet)
3. carbuffins (cookie? bars? muffins? we were not sure what to call these sweet thangs but they were tasty)
4. gooey bundt-sweet wreath (that’s on the top right rack) and 5. chocolate-chip-cookie-dough-crust molasses bar
Even though we didn’t take a clear picture of each of the five different items, they were all very interesting! The mixture of flavors varied surprisingly from item to item although they each began with very similar ingredients! /mind the timestap, of course, Amy’s little point-and-shoot was THA BOMB for photos, thank you Amy
Amy was a GREAT photographer and very helpful in the kitchen! Q: Where would we be without friends? A: elbow-deep-in-gooey-carbuffin-batter-without-pot-holder-in-sight-with-which-to-retrieve-golden-baked-bar-pies-out-of-the-hot-oven-for-cooling . Thank you, Lord, for good friends!
Amy was surprised that we could clean the kitchen and bake at the same time! I was a bit surprised as well! Not all baking days see the same kind of damage control as this one! Stay tuned for wrecked kitchens in the future and have a lovely rest of your day.
Amy and I went for a little run toward the end of our hang-out time together, in all it was an UTTERLY WONDERFUL hang-out time
Once upon a dream i
And as I am still learning much from Tim Keller’s teachings, I’d like to share this excerpt of his with you…otherwise paraphrased: “…here’s why it’s so hard to heal a crushed spirit: we cannot ‘live’ alone, we need a word from outside, a kind word…we can’t heal ourselves, we need someone to come in from outside with love…we’ve got a conscience…years and years and years of therapy – having been told “stop feeling guilty, stop feeling guilty, stop letting them put a guilt trip on you,” and you know what? – years and years and years later, you’re still feeling guilty. Even when no-ones pursuing, you flee. There is something indelible about a sense that “I’m just not right, I’m just not living up, I’m not doing what I ought to do” …What are you going to do about that? What are you going to do about existential angst (dread, anxiety) in the face of death. And how in the WORLD are you going to stop your heart from putting your ultimate trust, your ultimate hope, in things that you can lose? Well, here’s the answer: the secret is the Tree of Life. The Tree of Life. It’s an interesting reference. What do I mean by the secret being the Tree of Life (which is mentioned three times here in the book of Proverbs)? Well, the Tree of Life is mentioned three times here in Proverbs- it’s an interesting reference- the bible talks about the tree of life in Genesis and the bible talks about the tree of life in Revelation but there’s nowhere else in the bible that the Tree of Life is discussed, other than in the book of Proverbs. Through wisdom, the book of proverbs says, you can actually get a taste of it…The Tree of Life represents fullness of life: absolute satiation of the deepest desires. You’ve got creative desires to accomplish things, you’ve got aesthetic desires for beauty, you’ve got romantic desires for relationship for love, you’ve got longing for absolute satiation of the amount that you think you could want: the Tree of Life. But…the book of Proverbs also tells us that we lost it. The end of Genesis ch. 3 says there is a flaming sword waving back of forth that keeps us from the tree of life because when we turned to be our own masters, to be our own Lords…when we decided that we wanted to be our own lords, we lost the Tree of Life…Now what does that mean? … Proverbs 13:12 says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” … What it’s really saying, that our deepest longings, the things we put our hearts on to fulfill our deepest longs, we’ll never fulfill them because what we’re looking for, in everything we do, is the Tree of Life. In other words, when you get a new career, when you get a new boyfriend, when you go on a vacation, when you get a new house, when you travel to some place you’ve never been – there’s always something – it promises something that it can never. actually. deliver. – why? – one hebrew commentator puts it like this: “In the bible, the ‘tree of life’ is an image of immortal, eternal life, but also, it’s an image of irretrievable loss. It’s an image of cosmic nostalgia: a longing for something we remember, yet we’ve never had. In all of the music you go to, to kind-of, give yourself a high, you’re actually looking for a song that you remember but you’ve never heard…what you’re looking for in love: you’re looking for are arms that you remember but you’ve never really had. That’s what the bible’s saying, that’s what the Tree of Life is and, unless you understand that what your’re looking for is the tree of life then you’re not going to be wise. Of course there’s no one who’s put it, quite, like Lewis, who says: “Most people, if they really learn how to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want and want acutely what cannot be had in this world.” The longings which arise in us when we first fall in love or when we first think of some foreign country or first take up some subject that excites us are longings which no marriage, no travel, no longing can really satisfy…there’s always something we grasped at…
In elaborating, i’ll be brief for it was not easy to start and stop Keller’s podcast in order to transpose his, very rapid, delivery! His thesis is SO PROFOUND and I felt it was important to write down and share. This commentators mention of “cosmic nostalgia” strike a deep cord in my heart. You know when you have conversation with someone you feel “really gets” you? – that’s the feeling I got while listening to this sermon. So I KNOW, even more now, that wisdom IS the understanding that my heart’s longings, my emotional (more-pronounced in my life right now) and logical hungers and true. And that I can and will attain all His wisdom as I walk according to his purposes in my life! Please do not misunderstand, your life and pursuit of happiness and all wisdom is yours (not mine nor mine-for-the-judging -lest-I-fall-to-judgement). However, my wish is that you may find such understanding that our longings are for the pathway back to the tree of life.
