Technically unspectacular
In a perfect world, I would use a medium format camera for shooting and processing my own black and white photos. Alas, I am here on earth. That’s right, I work a forty-hour work week and have little time to snap digital photos, let alone buy and develop film in a lab. So for those of you who lack the time and resources to support romantic photography practices of yore, I give you: “Black and White tips, the {Un}edition”
Day 1,783
After our family’s trip, last month, to the Outerbanks, I decided to take be more proactive in taking practical steps toward my future. At Kitty Hawk National Monument, there are exhibits where we saw journals of the Wright brothers’ time leading up to the time of their first flights. Reading their journals inspired me to put some of my dreams into writing. “Day 1,783″ marks the commence of my log. No, this is not a stardated log for those of you Trekkies out there. This is also not your average captain’s log. In fact, this log marks the beginning of a countdown. A reverse-ordered chronicle that ends with a beginning. That’s right, you heard me. This idea has simmering for a while and it’s time that I come out with it. There are 1,783 days until March 31, 2017. (more…)
Boy, do I love the mountains!
Here are a few reasons why I love accepting my aunt invitations to the mountain house:
1. family love.
2. long walks.
3. homemade cinnamon rolls. uh, yum.
4. kite flying.
5. croquet playing. who doesn’t lock cracking mallets?
6. countryside soaking.
7. pretty allergens.
8. do you really need an eighth reason?
9. Did I mention I’ll be making homemade cinnamon rolls? Stay tuned for a recipe y’all…
Where’s one of YOUR favorite spots to “get away” to?
I’m gunna get rich
This past Friday evening I went on a walk with my aunt. The usual, you know. On the walk, she and I began to discuss my future plans, career, life, etc. It did not take long for me to share, with her, what’s been on my heart lately. And that’s just it: my running mouth is exactly what I DON’T want her to get a load of…alas. I shared my remorse over these facts: my goals are self-centered, self-focused and self-absorbed. Even if I wanted to “write a book,” it’s be because I want to make money under some Christian-faced-help-others-with-self-help story. If I end up “finding a career that I love deeply,” I’d also want to make lots of money doing it so that I would feel like a success. Or if I traveled the globe photographing orphanages and interviewing philanthropists, the collection of portraits would, more or less, be dripping with my pursuit of self-gain. It is a sad truth, really, that the only plans I seem to have end up in the same place: obsessed with self or money. So who am I really serving? Myself or others? And, is there a quick fix for what feels like hopeless self-centeredness?
The answer for the above questions are no clear-cut or easily found. Perhaps it will take a long time or a great many more honest conversations with myself and others in order to find a way to genuine servanthood. As much as I’d like to think that true selflessness is possible, there’s something this world tells me: there exists a closeness to that possibility but it’s not, easily, found or “acheieved.” In fact, I may be going about “acheiving” this end in the wrong way. Perhaps my goals will not begin, nor find their means in my “acheieving” whatsoever. Perhaps I’ll make way toward servanthood with the help of these tools: changing my perspective, little bye little, each day, being rigorously honest with myself and others and being more gentle with myself.
Wouldn’t it be great if it reaching my potential were as easy as this song that’s been on “repeat” in my head lately:
“I, I love you like a love song, baby
I, I love you like a love song, baby
I, I love you like a love song, baby
And I keep hitting re-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat” You may call it cheesy but I find it incredible how Selena Gomez just sketched-up these thoughtful and inspiring words on, perhaps, “love’s wings” alone. Am I missing something? Or should I just
“live a little” and the words and answers will then flow like a billboard hit 
?
Hopefully this “heavier season” will, soon, pass. It’s fun to feel “upbeat” but, occasionally, the heavier things are just going to break wide open, too.
How do you find healthy balance between the “sillier” things in life and the “heavier” things in life?
grandpa foster
This morning I woke up, SO, not ready to let Grandpa Foster go. On this earth, I am not sure I’ll ever want to let the ones I love “go.” But he is gone now.
Perhaps it is time to share with you what has, really, been on my heart for the past four days A LOT. Grandpa. My Grandpa.
“For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, P Lord, from my youth. Upon you I have leaned from before my birth. You are he who took me from my mother’s womb. My praise is continually of you. I have been as a portent to many but you are my strong refuge. My mouth is filled with your praise and with your glory all the day.”…this is the word of the Lord (psalm 71)
“Psalm 71 is one of my Grandpa Foster’s very favorite psalms” I said to a friend.
“Well that’s because it’s an old person’s psalm…” they teased…
She did not know my Grandpa Foster.
Grandpa Foster was floating in Baden Lake, NC with water noodle a few years ago! And water-tube-skiing behind a motor boat — teaching me to plant pansies in his front yard, too!
“Why is Grandpa trudging around, wearing his rubber wading-boots, knee high in the landscaping mud, Grandma?” I asked.
“Oh, he’s been out there for hours rescuing our backyard from run-off erosion by prying up and moving all of those giant boulders with a shovel.” Grandma answered.
“That’s nice.” I said, in reply.
And then Grandpa joined us for tea and raspberry thumbprints.Grandpa, always, did love a good raspberry thumbprint and a butter tart, too!
When something tickled Grandpa, his broad chest would bounce about with this soulful laughter. Strong bursts of joy whisped, happily, through his bright and shining smile. He smiled at most everything, however simple. Even when he thought no one was watching, when he manged to extract an entire Brazil nut from its tricky shell and casing, a delightful grin of victory would form on Grandpa’s lips. Perhaps Grandpa’s utter delight over this world’s simple gifts reflects one truth about this fine man’s
secretscharacter: this bottomless faith of a humble servant to the Lord, God Almighty.Near the end of his earthly life, one anonymous believe said this: “My stock of material goods isn’t great. But I have a fortune in friendship, courage, self-assurance and honest appraisal of my own abilities. Above all, I have gained the greatest thing according to an, the Love and understanding of a gracious God.” (Wilson, 258) Grandpa said that “the greatest call [was] the call to serve the Lord…” (Lutz) And if there is testimony to one earthly man’s humbly, happily and thoroughly lived service to the Lord Jesus Christ, it’s Grandpa Robert Livingston Foster’s.
I will post this on Grandpa Foster’s … Dr. Robert Livingston Foster’s memorial blog as well … if you would love to join me and my cousin Sara (we are the only two here in NC, I think, that will be watching the funeral together at 3:30 AM EST Thursday morning (tomorrow) 1/12/12) to watch the funeral being broadcasted (simulcasted) from Lubango, Angola, you can find the link on that blog too!
Also, this is a video that projects a small picture of how neat-o of a guy, was, Grandpa Foster!
Dr. Robert Livingston Foster 1924-2012
here is a link to watch the funeral as well. Much love to you from here in NC – Jasper Naomi
christmas gift-making
This morning I shared some frustrations of mine with my good friend. Instead of her listening with reverent nods and smiles of justifying sighs, like my controlling behaviors would have imagined she’d please me with, she asked me objective questions that called me out on my selfishness. Within the hour, I felt deep gratitude for such honest friendship and accountability; however my gratefulness swam around in what is intense self-hatred. How can healthy reprimand for my bad attitude result in such painful feelings? In all this, I can see that the heavenly discipline (through God and my good little friend) did not CAUSE me pain, it’s the self-loathing and unhappiness deep-down on which a healthy attitude-check shed some light. So now what to do with the token of enlightenment? BREAK this cycle! It’s a gift, awakening slowly to the depravity of my condition. I will ask God to help me continue making amends with him for my sad choices and chose to do something kind to myself and the Spirit of life that lives inside of me today…there’s a world of possibility for this attitude of kindness and compassion right outside (and inside-of) my cubicle opening! Stay tuned for the outcome! And PLEASE leave some ideas in your comments below~ and have a wonderful day!
look-a here at some of the neato things we can do on picnik 
and here is some of the latest and greatest footage/still lifes of santa’s workshop this year! stay tuned! more to come! and thank you, Wendy for slaving over the computer in order to send me the photos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
unwrapped
What are some of YOUR favorite gifts?!?! A gift to unwrap today, for me, is all the blessings God gives me in THIS day!…a silly story shared with friends…a giggle in the office…a pleasantry exchanged with a stranger in the checkout lane…a fond memory. Thank you, Lord, for all the blessings in this day! 
for more photos or to upload some of your own, check out my photo stream here! And have a WONDERFUL day!!!
